2021 Update: The original title of this blog post was "How To Live With A Trump Presidency And Not Murder Your Republican Friends." I wrote this a day after the 2016 election. I predicted it all in my last paragraph.
Words. Words, words, words. How do you express yourself when you’re swirling in a sea of fear, disappointment, disenchantment—and for me at this very moment—Pinot Grigio. I’ve been this way (sans wine until my abrupt trip to Walmart for the $2.97 bottle this afternoon) ever since I witnessed the slow, agonizing defeat overnight. It was brutal, sad, sickening, and it was as if a dark cloud suddenly dropped over us and will remain above our great country to forever block out all light and hope.
Trump won. Trump won the electoral vote, but Hillary holds on to the popular vote, meaning more Americans voted for Hillary Clinton than Donald Trump. But, that is not how we elect our new president. Not at this moment in our democracy, at least.
I grew up in a very rural town in Western New York: population 1,806. My father was a hunter and fisherman, and I had my hunting, fishing, and bow hunting licenses at one time. Turns out little Victor couldn’t bear the sight of Bambi being slaughtered, so I became a nature photographer and filmmaker instead. But I love my rural roots.
I love the outdoors. I have the greatest respect for people who farm, and who work outside under the brutal sun and during the chilling winters. I love growing facial hair, slipping on a flannel shirt and jeans, and talking with similar folk at a bar with three to four beers in my belly. And if I’m challenged to a fun wrestling match or romp in the hay—guy or girl—at two in the morning and three sheets to the wind…I’m there. As a matter of fact, I pray for those occasions. It’s what makes us human.
But I’m also college educated. I have a degree in Mechanical Engineering. I’ve won awards for films I’ve produced. I work very hard as a self-employed person (since 1998) to obtain business and do the best work I can. So every day I wake up trying to figure out how to make a living. I don’t have a steady paycheck. It’s all up to chance…and a lot of hard work. And many nights I don’t sleep well, or I get stomachaches, and I worry and think about my future a lot. Almost hourly.
So my concerns with a Trump presidency are how can a man, who literally sits up in a tower within a gold-lined room, help me? How can someone who has never known how to live with little be able to understand what it’s like? When those days come when bologna is your only affordable food choice, and trimming $200 off your price so you’re basically working for minimum wage is what you need to do to survive. To eat. To pay the rent. To not be homeless.
To me, the Trump win felt like the Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day all over again, only it could last for years. That was the day when CEO Dan Cathy offered up Chick-fil-A discounts to all who believed they had a religious right to hate gays. And when I saw the line of cars at the one store within walking distance from my home, I was heartbroken. These were people in my community…celebrating…their hate. It wasn’t about the right to believe what you believe…it was far worse. You have to stop and think about it from the other person’s point of view. It made me so sad.
But I agree with some things Trump has promised. I wholeheartedly believe that manufacturing should stay in the U.S., and companies that outsource overseas should be fined and publicly ridiculed. Yes, I would go that far. To look beyond the people within your own country to save a dollar is absolutely disgusting. It’s un-American. And really, who enjoys talking to “Dave” in the Philippines when your cable goes out? Not me. Not anymore.
I also agree that illegal immigration is a huge problem in this country. And I would feel the same way if millions of pasty-white Irishmen like me showed up on our soil without going through the proper channels. But it disheartens me to think that so many of our Latino friends may face what is equivalent to a mass purge. Let’s face it, we need a bit more color in our skin tones. Protect our borders, encourage those who are here to come forward, and work on paths to citizenship. And, yes, keep English our official language.
But I’m worried what Trump will do for our healthcare system. People don’t understand, and I have to remind them constantly, that Obamacare is not what Obama wanted. It is a watered-down mess—a compromise—that was all Obama could push through a divided Congress. I’ve paid $48,000 in premiums over the past 17 years to basically cover an ear infection. That’s ridiculous. The Affordable Care Act offered me some relief from those high premiums. The solution isn’t to open up state borders to offer more choices and competition among insurers (Trump's plan); the solution is to remove insurers from the picture altogether. Healthcare should never be a for-profit industry. We are Americans. We need to treat each other with respect, and that includes loving and providing for each other in sickness and in health.
So, you voted for Hillary, but you are finding out—or knew all along—that some or many of your friends and acquaintances were secretly or already staunch Trump supporters. How do you speak to them? How do you not get caught up in political babble that hurts both of you and takes away from what is good in your relationship? And how do you give Donald Trump a chance?
It’s simple. You tell your friends that you are worried about the future of the country. You meet, you bring out the food and booze—because nothing brings people together better than awesome food and spirits—and share your fears and hopes. You try to get inside each other’s heads to really understand where the “other side” is coming from. We lift the clouds over our heads when we meet and come together, when we communicate. It’s as simple as that.
And if Trump doesn’t live up to his promises, or if people in his cabinet resign after six months because they can’t get along with him…or if Trump totally botches up the responsibilities he’s been given…we learn. They learn. We all learn together that that was not perhaps the best path. And so, we find a new one and move forward. And then we strive to travel on it together with a common goal: to make America the place that we can all be proud of. We must never lose sight of that.
Subscribe to my Blog for new posts.
