Using Amazon's Virtual Voices for Audiobooks

Virtual voices have come a long way with Amazon's new selection of realistic narrators that employ AI technology to interpret tone and inflections. I have previously used ACX with human narrators for two of my other books: The Ghosts of Culpeper Antiques and In Search of Good Times, which cost me a total of $1300 to produce. Amazon's new Audiobooks with Virtual Voice has a big advantage: it's free to use.

So I gave it a try for my first book—a memoir of sorts—Musings of a Dysfunctional Life, and I couldn't be happier. Take a listen to one of the short "musings" below:

Once you have an eBook version of your book and have been selected as a beta user of Virtual Voice, you are able to select from a wide variety of voices, both male and female, and several nationalities. You can even use different voices for different chapters, if you want. 

There are a few kinks, as you might expect:

1. Sometimes it will read a word incorrectly. Here's an example of "leads" oddly interpreted as "leds" when I want it to sound like "leeds." To change the pronunciation, you highlight the word or phrase and type in how you want the narrator to say it.

2. If there isn't enough emphasis in a sentence, you can sometimes force it with an exclamation mark at the end. In the highlighted sentence below, I replaced the period after roof with a ! in the edit box to make the whole sentence have a bit more pizzazz.

Unfortunately, the technology doesn't emphasize italicized words, yet, so you have to play around with that. I have also had luck replacing a period with (...) or a colon (:) to switch up the inflection of the last words within a sentence. It seems to predict how to say something before it gets there. You can also add commas in the edit box if it rushes through a phrase.

3. In the same example above, you can see that I added a pause between the chapter number and the title. You can select a short, medium, or long pause with the editing tools on the right. Just place your cursor where you want to have more of a pause, and you can add one. The default is Short. Though it does pause automatically between paragraphs, sometimes you might want a bit more if the narration seems rushed.

4. You can also change the voice speed of highlighted portions with the editing tools, but 25% faster and 25% slower are a bit too much either way. I hope they add a 10% option as well. For my book, I kept the pace at the default speed.

Once you complete the fine tuning of your audiobook, you can publish it to Amazon and it will also appear on Audible. Check out my entire audiobook for Musings here.

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The Incredible Serendipity of my Namesake Grandfather

When I was a young lad in 1972, age 9, my parents divorced and my mom took my sister and me from Middleport, NY, to another small town five miles away called Medina, NY. There was a sweet old lady I'd visit who lived across the street from us. Her name was Mrs. Kreppeneck. She had to be in her late 60s, from what I remember. Often times I would join her on her porch. We would talk and talk, and I'd play on her steps and swing on her porch swing until the sun came down and I had to retreat home some thirty steps away. She lived at 209 Prospect Ave. and we lived at 204, and later, 212 Prospect Ave.

Mrs. (Gertrude) Kreppeneck's old house. Photo taken 2001.

Sometimes she'd let me inside. I can remember the calm and cozy surroundings. There were several round tables covered with patterned table clothes and doilies, and on top of those doilies were pictures of her family members. The place had the distinctive smell of a grandmother's house. I think I remember her telling me that her husband had died, and it made me feel sad, as sad as anyone my age could understand. I wasn't sure if anyone else lived with her. But I do remember feeling slightly weird that she may have felt it odd for someone's kid to hang out with her. Or maybe it was just me feeling that way. Didn't I have a better place to be? I had several neighbor friends, but when we weren't playing or they weren't around, there was always Mrs. Kreppeneck to talk to.

How close she lived from our two homes on Prospect Ave. 209 is the red marker.

Forward now over half a century later, and I discover through a 1937 online newspaper article that my grandfather, Victor C. Rook, with whom I am named after and have never met because he died before I was born, once lived in that very same house back in the 1930s. He was married to his first wife, Virginia Sayers, and my dad and aunt were age 2 and 1, respectively, that year.

All I've known of my namesake was that he died of a heart attack in 1961--two years before I came into this world--at the young age of 52. At that time he lived in the house adjacent to my father's home back in Middleport, NY. He had divorced Virginia (who later became my grandmother, Virginia Snow) and married a woman by the name of Josephine in 1946.

But apparently, there was a great deal more to Victor C. Rook, which I am now discovering. He was an avid hunter, businessman, and community leader. He co-owned a men's clothing store called Montgomery & Rook Clothiers in the 1930s in Medina. He was a man-about-town, so they say: Vice President and then President of the Medina Junior Chamber of Commerce, Member of the Orleans Rod and Gun Club, Medina Conservation Club, Medina Masonic Order, Advertising Committee, Dance Committee, and apparently, a show-dog exhibitor. Upon further newspaper searches, I learned that he was also part of a convoy of vehicles that delivered two tons of relief supplies to Wilkes-Barre, PA, during the 1936 floods.

I'm not certain if my grandfather lived in other locations in Medina, or if my father may have been too young to remember that he once lived in Mrs. Kreppeneck's house for part of his childhood. When he picked me up for weekend parental visits, he never mentioned anything of the sort. I have since learned that Mrs. Kreppeneck passed away at age 77 on July 13, 1985.

The most incredible part of this story is that I was drawn to visit Mrs. Kreppeneck, and in doing so, I spent time inside the former home of my grandfather. Perhaps it was my grandfather finding a way to protect and console his lonely grandchild, one he was never able to hold and meet in real life. I was once told by a psychic that there was a man watching over me, and so I've always thought it must be him (since we share the same name).

Here are some article snippets from The Medina Tribune with mentions and pictures of my grandfather. Special thanks to Lee-Whedon Memorial Library in Medina, NY, for providing me with image scans.

Apparently he ended up winning that year with his Irish setter, Allegany Red.

Business profiles, 1937.

Sales ad for Montgomery & Rook and Gould's.

New window display with hunting gear.

Wilkes-Barre, PA, relief effort in 1936.

Victor heads Jaycees, 1938.

Mrs. Kreppeneck's obituary, 1985.

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With Love: My Many Passages Through Canada

As I write this, Canada, Mexico, and China are being threatened with tariffs--for no real good reason--by the Trump administration. Canada and Mexico, in particular, are targeted for border crossings that may bring fentanyl into the U.S. But according to statistics, only about .2% of fentanyl seizures are through Canada. This is certainly not enough to disrupt a century-old trade agreement and alienate our closest ally. Also, why blame another country for the people within the U.S. who use this drug? That's where the focus should be.

But let's take politics out of this.

From 1981 to 1985, I drove through Canada many times on my way back and forth between Western New York and East Lansing, Michigan, where I studied Mechanical Engineering at Michigan State University. The drive was approximately 360 miles one way, and I made that trip 26 times over those years. When added up, nearly 7,000 of those miles were within the Ontario Province.

Having grown up just 35 miles from Niagara Falls, I was already familiar with the southeastern portion of Ontario. My family traveled to the falls several times (the Canadian side is better), as well as an amusement park along Lake Erie called Crystal Beach Park. Crystal Beach was in operation from 1888 to 1989. That's a very long time. There were reports that in 1974, a few carts from the Comet wooden rollercoaster broke free and dumped several riders into the lake. Still, it was one of my favorite parks to travel to.

What has always been most noticeable to me about Ontario is how well they maintain their roads and highway systems. The main roads are smooth and lack the many potholes that wreak havoc on cars in the northern states. You can visibly see and feel the difference the moment you cross through the border gates.

I was also impressed with the kindness of the Canadian people that you so often hear about. The only two times I was pulled over at the border was coming back into the United States by U.S. crossing guards. One was so rude that he made me completely unload and reload my car, which was full of everything one would expect to furnish a dorm room: carpet, clothes, bedding, stereo system, etc. You'd think a U.S. citizen with U.S. plates would be more welcomed.

What I also remember on those very long stretches of highway was listening to cassette tapes and enjoying the scenery. My mind is a little foggy about what part I was in, but I remember listening to Whitney Houston along a curvy corridor. And I'd always stop at the McDonald's on the Canadian side just before crossing over the Ambassador Bridge into Detroit. Sometimes I'd alter the trip and cross at the more northern Port Huron entrance.

I always think of Canada as the Petri dish for good ideas. From roads to affordable healthcare, they manage to come together and find promising solutions to the most essential human needs. We should be looking to them for inspiration, but, as always, the United States is where good ideas come to die. There's always large swaths of the electorate opposed to common sense approaches. If you see it working elsewhere, then maybe that should tell you something. I won't accept the occasional long waits at hospitals in Canada as a truthful excuse for not changing our ways, as in any system there can be wait times for elective procedures. And anyone from Canada will tell you they'd much rather have their taxes go to these basic needs. Most prosperous nations wonder why we have not caught on yet.

After college and in the early '90s, a friend and I made a trip through Canada around Lake Ontario. I remember staying one night at a quaint location with lots of pine trees before reentering the states near Lake Placid, New York. I also made a day trip with some college friends to Middle Island, the southern most land point of Canada. Surprisingly, I've never spent time in Toronto. It's on my list of places to return to. Canada is a vast country with much to explore.

Lastly, on one of my college trips around 1983-84, my 1977 Subaru died on a desolate part of the highway near London, Ontario. The radiator blew. I walked to a Victorian Inn that seemed to appear out of nowhere like a mirage. I told them what had happened and they kindly let me use a phone to call my father. I think they even offered me a place to stay, knowing of my unfortunate predicament. What does a broke college student do stranded in another country with a dead car? 

Instead, I walked back to my car and slept in it until my father arrived to tow me some 150 miles back home. He scared the shit out of me when he knocked on my window. The day after, I took this picture of what I wanted to do to that rust bucket.

I sincerely hope that, once Trump and his minions are removed from office, the United States and Canada will return to a more respectful relationship that honors Canadian sovereignty and the dignity of its people. That is when true healing can begin.

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Cabin in the Woods: My Miniature World

Decades ago I purchased this hand-built cabin on eBay. What a great find! It measures 16.5" long x 11" high x 17" deep. Since then I have purchased or made several of the interior furnishings. Soon I will be placing wood shingles on the roof that I found at Goodwill.

Every now and then I take it out of storage and set it up, usually in the winter.

Take a look at some of the interior pictures below. I purchased a lighted fireplace, 1920s stove, rattan chair, hutch, rug, dogs, lights, and some mini accessories. I made the kitchen table, bed, and broom (from ornamental grass outside), and framed picture of a wrestler.

Makes you want to jump right in and take a seat in front of the fireplace. Click the pictures to make them larger on your computer.

In 2025, I shingled the roof with a few packs of Greenleaf shingles I found at Goodwill for $1.99 each. I think it turned out well. Next winter we will add some realistic food to the table and maybe an old-timer metal bathtub.

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ChatGPT Admits it Lies: Don't Trust Artificial Intelligence (AI) Results

ChatGPT is something we all should be concerned with, as well as other AI spin-offs. Recently I tested ChatGPT as an author--not for writing, but for research. I asked it to give me a list of movies and TV shows with "man-eating" plants. Then I sat down and watched all of them. Many did not.

So I went back to the AI thread and confronted ChatGPT. Here are parts of my conversation:

***

Me: You said that The Munsters episode "The Midnight Ride of Herman Munster" featured a man-eating plant, but I watched the episode and there were no plants mentioned.

ChatGPT: I apologize for the incorrect information. It appears there was an error in my response regarding "The Munsters" episode "The Midnight Ride of Herman Munster." Thank you for pointing that out. Here's a corrected list of TV shows with man-eating or carnivorous plants:

"Doctor Who" - Various episodes of the long-running British sci-fi series have featured man-eating or carnivorous plants, including "The Seeds of Doom" (Season 13, 1976) and "The End of Time" (2009).

"The X-Files" - In Season 4, Episode 2 titled "Home," there is a disturbing scene involving a man-eating plant in a greenhouse.

"Goosebumps" - The episode titled "Stay Out of the Basement: Part 2" (Season 1, Episode 12) features plant-based horrors when a mad scientist's experiments with plants go awry.

Me: The X-files episode "Home" did not have plants either. Why are you lying?

ChatGPT: I apologize for the inaccuracies in my previous responses. You are correct, and I appreciate your patience in pointing out the errors. "The X-Files" episode "Home" does not involve man-eating plants, and there was an error in my response.

Me: What episode of the Land of the Giants features man-eating plants?

ChatGPT: In the classic science fiction television series "Land of the Giants," there is an episode titled "The Weird World" (Season 2, Episode 18) that features man-eating plants. In this episode, the crew of the spaceship Spindrift encounters a world filled with giant, carnivorous plants that pose a significant threat to them. The episode "The Weird World" revolves around the characters' struggle to survive and escape from this dangerous environment filled with aggressive flora. Man-eating plants play a central role in the episode's plot.

Me: Are you sure?

ChatGPT: I apologize for the earlier inaccuracies. Upon further review, it appears that I provided incorrect information regarding the presence of man-eating plants in the "Land of the Giants" episode titled "The Weird World." After reevaluating the episode, it does not feature man-eating plants as a central element of the plot. I appreciate your patience and apologize for any confusion caused by the previous response.

***

What is most disturbing about these and many other results is how detailed ChatGPT was in providing the TV & movie summaries. They were deceptively convincing. What does this mean for users who actually publish works using ChatGPT results?

There are real-world consequences. It's like what happened to Michael Cohen recently. He quickly used AI to generate a list of legal cases, but the results were inaccurate. You can read about it here. Will our histories be rewritten with such inaccuracies, too? What about customer support, when users are given incorrect solutions by AI tech support? Or a mechanic being directed incorrectly on how to fix your car?

The verdict is in. Do NOT trust anything that comes out of Artificial Intelligence now. The hasty leap we take as a civilization to make things easier may, in the end, lead us over a proverbial cliff.

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First Book Signing: A Life with Carnivorous Plants

Today was my first official book signing for my new book, A Life with Carnivorous Plants, at McKay Used Books in Manassas, Virginia. There were a lot of carnivorous plant enthusiasts, some with large collections of their own. And the kids loved the live plants I brought with me. You can order the book in paperback and eBook formats on Amazon.

Here are some of the pictures I took throughout the day:

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Macramé as Therapy

Like nearly every person growing up in the 1970s, I enjoyed creating things by hand using the hippest forms of art at the time: string art, sand art, and, of course, macramé. It was my sister—who also turned me on to '70s music and houseplants—that got me started. We would shoot out plant hangers, wall hangings, and owls as if we were some sort of factory. Two hobby stores in Medina, New York, would feed my passion, and they carried a wide selection of cords, beads, feathers, and macramé magazines. I would bike miles to make my purchases, then return home to my bedroom and go at it. We even sold some of our creations out of our garage, and I had a few plant hangers for sale at a nearby plant center.

Some of my many creations over the years. Too many to keep for myself, for sure.

Over 40 years had passed when I restarted this hobby during the pandemic. It was a way to keep busy. To not think about what was going on in the world. To shut out politics and the news of constant death. And the best thing: macramé had already been making a comeback for years. There are now several Facebook groups where you can share your creations and YouTube tutorials to learn basic knots and more complicated combinations.

Not many people know this, but sailors used to create macramé items out of rope and cord on ships during down time. They would sell them on shore. Here is picture proof of that.

Even though this particular craft is typically dominated by females, it is something I feel anyone can take up and enjoy. I will often find myself at the Goodwill store perusing the wood aisle and ceramic aisle for inexpensive bowls, pots, and anything that I can incorporate into a macramé project. Those back massagers can be broken down for large wood beads, which would otherwise be expensive to purchase.

Now I sell my macramé creations at craft & vendor fairs. I do really well, actually. I hope you will take up this wonderful hobby, too. You'll find it's a great way to relax, and the results are very satisfying.

Typical setup at a craft show. Clothes racks are great for both creating and selling product.

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